Arranged Barriage

Once upon a time
there lived a young lad
Happy, carefree and full of beans
a free bird, by all means.

One day he turned twenty-six
his parents got into the mix
Life is a long long journey, they said
So Kanna its time you get ready to wed.

We'll find a nice girl,
Smartha, someone from Vadama
But please for Perumal's sake,
don't bring home a vellakaara kuttyma!

My son is 26 and 6-feet tall
he's well-educated, brainy and all.
They said it to one, two, many...
Jee..they wrote it even in Tamil Matrimony.

They received a dozen requests
and sent as many,
in the hope of finding their dear
a cute adorable Kanmani.

We like your son's profile,
lakshanama irukaar!
but sorry our daughter doesn't want
a faarin aathukaar.

Still, Jadagams came in
the Josiyer checked for a match.
Nothing much happened
but for the occasional catch.

Inga paarungo, indha varan nanna iruku
This girl is just right!
A chat was quickly organised
via the blimming Skype.

They looked at each other,
one thing was certain.
An invisible wall was between them
with an infinite dielectric constant.

There was, you know,
no freakin spark!
It was obvious
and the reality was quite stark.

So once again for every prospective girl
they got the horoscope data.
And every time they visited the Josiyer
he told them to bid the girl ta-ta.


One day, The Site spitted out a 10/10 match
it said "from the Matchmaking Pro".
But, oh golly molly,
that girl looked more like a bro!

Oh!, he wondered,
Is that God's subliminal message of the day?
That the young lad might as well,
be of the gay?