Wednesday, September 23, 2009

It's a guy thing

The above video is running hot on TV at the moment. It's an ad on blokes. It celebrates typical blokey moments and achievements. The ad glorifies different kind of blokes there are, namely:

a. Blokes who punch above their weight
b. Blokes who peaked at high school
c. Blokes built like a brick house
d. Blokes who've had their arm in a cow
e. Men who wont eat their quiche
f. Men who should have read the instructions

and many others. Very funny!

After my experience with my friends last week, I feel the ad missed one group. Guys who are part of this group - you know who you are - will be gutted that such hard-done by blokes have not been recognised. I am talking about the blokes who've been invited (in some cases dragged along) to a September weekend wedding. You may chuckle and say what's the big deal? Why is this category important? Let me explain.

The month of September is special. If you are girl and living in the southern hemisphere, you may say September means it is the spring season. That means flowers. Freshness. All bloom. Romance is in the air. September brings with it new life and new beginnings. Basically, the month of Sep has all ingredients for a perfect wedding.

If you are guy, September is special too. Unlike Ms CuddlyWink's exhaustive list, it's only for a handful of things. The list reads: four weekends, NRL finals and AFL Grand finals. All finals spread out in those four glorious September weekends. HE would either in front of the idiot box or in the battleground (the stadium). There is nowhere else he would want to be. The place is Holy Grail.

Last weekend, it was NRL's preliminary finals night. Along with the-colour-of-my-blood-is-rugby mates, I was at our friend's wedding (groom) on the game night. The wedding was great. I was very happy for the couple and everyone had a great time. A true bloke doesn't miss his friend's wedding. Full stop. Gazza, a common friend, recollected with a serious face, looking down at his shuffling feet, that even last year he missed the NRL final. All because "there were so many bleeeeping weddings in September man. Bleep". Along with the wedding gift, Gazza had planned to give the groom (our mate) a wedgie for choosing this particular time for the wedding ceremony. He spared him because the groom secretly confessed that he had the same feelings too. Instead of a wedgie, the groom received a bear hug from Gazza. Aww...the brotherhood!

During the pre-ceremony drinks, people were standing around in clusters chatting away, it was hard to miss the constant undercurrent footy talk in the conversations. Anything about anything was somehow related to footy. We did try our earnest for a work around to get the live scores. The problem was we were in a church at a small town in the outskirts of the city. The church was on a hill (awesome views of the city!) and we had to drive through dense rain forest to get there. Expectedly, the church didn't have AM radio reception, it had a GSM connection that would load live updates in time for my sashtiapdhapoorthi*, and a 3G network which wasn't strong enough to load the web page. Guys were squirming on their seats. If there were no one was watching us, we would've all yelled in unison "pichukhooo" and sprinted towards the nearest place showing the live telecast.

...and that's actually what we did, but only after the wedding ceremony (no we didn't yell. jees.). We made our way into a local run-down pub showing the game. The regulars in the pub said we were the most well-dressed men to ever set foot in the pub's long history. We watched the last few minutes of the game. Gazza shed a few tears. It was...hmm...a special moment for him. His team won. Nothing melts a true Aussie bloke faster than to see his team in the spoils of victory.

Like any wedding, everyone was decked in their finery's. We looked sharp. The ladies were gorgeous. It's amazing the amount of prep ladies put into weddings. So much that one girl told me that wedding is all about the bride. Considering the state we were in, I couldn't disagree with her more. I was about to say something (not about the trivial matter of footy finals), then stopped. But then...

Weddings have their own rules. We all know rules can always be bent, if not broken. You see, we have a problem here. We have to attend the wedding but we are also deprived of the Rugby. Perhaps we can find a way to incorporate both football and wedding in an innovative way. Maybe the priest can probably do a score update during the ceremony like, "Do you Joe Bloggs, take Mary Jones, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, like a football which the New Zealand Warriors just landed over the try line to take the score to 16-14?"

Or, how about showing the live telecast (volume muted ofcourse) on a big LCD behind the bride at the reception. 100% attention guaranteed.

Or, how about this in a South Indian wedding. Imagine there is a ODI going LIVE between India and Australia. The sastrigal defies conventions and recites this informative Mangalayam Thanthuna nena

Manglayam thanthuna nena
Australiaaa two eighty nine
Indha game-a nambha jeyikkhaa
adikanum sadham.

I am just saying...



* Sashtiapdhapoorthi - celebration of 60th birthday


  1. Thats a super idea. Maybe there will be people who will go upto the groom, look at the bride ( and the LCD through the corner of the eye...) and shout... 'GOAL' !!


    Thats just me and my imagination. Its a guy thing ! indeed

  2. Liked your idea of live cricket telecast in a typical south indian wedding!!

    I am sure sastrigal will be reciting the scores instead of mantras!!!!

  3. GRE neenga evlo?:P

    As for scores instead of wouldn ever find a bride who would oblige :) Afterall, your perspective is one-sided.

    I liked this. Well written:)


  4. kavi, hahaha. Or look at the bride (and the LCD) and exclaim "watta catch!". :D

    viji, yes the modern kasthrigal, sorry sastrigal, a bloke himself, will see our POV. :)

    archana, thanks! glad u liked it. yea..i can imagine. as u said, this is entirely from a bloke's perspective. naan, till now, GRE ezhudhala. yen? :)

  5. @Sriram,

    What an idea!!!
    A big LCD screen and Cricket Match!!
    I think the attention would be to match and not the bride/groom!!

    Perhaps you should give a try :) in your marriage!!

    I think archana perhaps wants your tips in GRE :)

  6. @Sriram: I liked the very 'structure' of your post:P Hence, was curious:)

    @Nirmal: :P I am not writing GRE anytime now:)

  7. nirmal,

    hehe. i've mudivedethufied that I am gonna marry only in the off-season. :D



  8. Hehehe.had it been me, i would have stopped the wedding or changed the guy :P Namakkum Cricket'kum yeni yen lift vecha kooda ettathu :P

  9. Hahaha, soo horrible. Of course you could always get married in the northern hemisphere, where your "spring" is really our "summer". Does July/August have any important games?

  10. Hahaha, soo horrible. Of course you could always get married in the northern hemisphere, where your "spring" is really our "summer". Does July/August have any important games?

  11. ponnarasi,

    enna irundhaalum neenga rombha strictuu. lol. kidding.


    hehe. that's an option. we have a packed sports calendar these days. so there'll always be a few who are "affected".