Saturday, May 16, 2009

Hope and Loneliness

I read this today:
Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you’ll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way.

Janet Fitch


I have conflicting thoughts on the sentence "Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space". Yes, it is very hard to find such person - someone who is in sync with you. Even good, close friends, don't necessarily understand you. They may just accept you. It's just that we can not afford to lose hope in finding that person. Hope can drive you crazy. But, in Andy Dufresne's words "Hope is a good thing, may be the best of things, no good thing ever dies".

I strongly agree with the last sentence "
The best you’ll ever do is to understand yourself...". It echoes my views in the last para of this post.


10 comments:

  1. Hope is good thing...

    Does this line comes in the movie Shawshank redemption?

    I think emotionally strong humans can handle loneliness better as they would be mature enough to accept the reality!

    I think we must be able to accept when people come to us and also when leave us! We cant expect everyone to be with us always!

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  2. i was just having an argument abt marriage where the other person accused me of having a cynical attitude in gen.

    i completely agree with this post.

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  3. Hey, wonderful write up:-). We are experience "Lonelines" at some point of time in life!!

    We need to fall im love with ourselves, to overcome loneliness and enjoy solitude!

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  4. I agree with the quote. Hope is indulgence!

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  5. Interesting post...

    I believe you need to love yourself first before you love others and expect others to love you.

    I strongly disagree with "Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space".

    I know it is tough and challenging to find someone who understands you but trust me there are like minded people out there who will, with time, certainly understand you. The key is patience!! One should not go out looking for people who will understand you as it could lead to disappointment but rather wait for it and let it happen.

    Then again, I don’t think it’s fair to expect someone to understand you properly when more often than not we struggle to understand ourselves better.

    So, we first need to love and understand ourselves better. It definitely makes you feel good and gives lot of hope, faith and confidence.

    Key to success and happiness is patience, hope, faith and confidence. Remember, its all in our minds. And what is there in life if we lack in these areas???

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  6. Nirmal,

    correct. It is from Shawshank. Tim Robbin character's name was Andy Dufresne.

    Emotinal maturity/Emotional Intelligence is 'almost' achieved once we 'almost' know ourselves. I use the word 'almost' because I think it takes a while, sometimes a bit too long, to fully understand ourselves.

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  7. Anjana,

    :D

    Marriage may be a perfect solution to loneliness. A good, only good, marriage can mask loneliness right. We can always hope for that! Oh I used the H-word again...hehe. Janet Fitch wont be happy with this!

    Viji,

    Love thy self eh? Correct!

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  8. Dot,

    hmmm..

    Ganesh,

    thala. danks.

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  9. I agree with Ganesh on this one. There are like-minded people, but I also have to say that it is very difficult in finding someone like that... So don't look for them as it is counter-productive and may even detract you from your own happiness. They'll come to you. Sometimes when you find someone, you might think he or she is the right one, perfect one, but it might also change. That's because every second, we are changing for the better or worse as a result of our experiences. mind is dynamic and people are dynamic. The best thing is to understand ourselves and keep an open mind and listen to what others have to say. Think about what they say without dismissing it and life will prove to be much easier. I wish everyone ends up finding someone who is mostly in sync with their thoughts :)

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  10. I agree with Ganesh on this one. There are like-minded people, but I also have to say that it is very difficult in finding someone like that... So don't look for them as it is counter-productive and may even detract you from your own happiness. They'll come to you. Sometimes when you find someone, you might think he or she is the right one, perfect one, but it might also change. That's because every second, we are changing for the better or worse as a result of our experiences. mind is dynamic and people are dynamic. The best thing is to understand ourselves and keep an open mind and listen to what others have to say. Think about what they say without dismissing it and life will prove to be much easier. I wish everyone ends up finding someone who is mostly in sync with their thoughts :)

    ReplyDelete