Sunday, May 10, 2009

My Orchid

Of all the posts I've written so far, I find this post the hardest to write. The toughest tributes have got to be the ones written for people you've known the longest and loved the best. Nothing I say can be enough.

In life we form relationships with many people. Some relationships are strong bonds with people who mean a lot to us (e.g. parents, siblings, close friends etc.), some are in the middle ground - neither this nor that, and some relationships exist because both individuals are alive and kicking and/or because the path of individuals intersect somewhere in time (e.g. hi-bye friends or relatives whom we meet sporadically).

Of all the relationships that exist in this world, the one between grandmother and grandson is THE most special. It is a special bond that is very difficult to put in words.

My Paati (Paati is the tamil word for grandmother) is an influential figure in my life. She is everything to me. After my mum, she is the first person to see me. From paaladai to ooti-vittufy, she has fed me. She has told me stories. She introduced God to me. She taught me how to pray. She taught me the value of having values, the importance of doing one's duty, to love unconditionally. From her, I learnt how to be soft and yet strong, how to be innocuous and still be assertive...Most importantly, I learnt who I am and who I can be.

My Paati is not a run-of-the-mill Paati. When I say 'Paati', if you picturize an old lady, frail, wearing a white sari, lips silently chanting a sloka with prayer beads on fingers - you are greatly mistaken. My Paati is very enterprising and dynamic. She is a businesswoman and entrepreneur. Born in the generation where women from orthodox Tamil Brahmin community were married before they finished high school, she also got married in her early teens and was determined enough to finish her Masters degree in Cosmetology. In the era where most married women with more than 2 kids were content being a housewife or at most work in the safe haven of a Government job, she established a herbal beauty clinic, expanded it and ran it successfully for 20+ years and along the way did a splendid job of raising three successful kids. In the age where people settled with decent income wouldn't consider upgrading themselves professionally by studying further, she ran the family and studied to specialise in Aroma therapy. Finally, when she is physically old and the body seem to dish out the vagaries of old age, the last thing you would expect her to do is a gruelling trek in the Himalayas. My Paati did a 1-month trip to Mt Kailash and Manasarovar Lake in the Nepal-China border. She did extensive preparation for the trip to be physically and mentally fit. She did it!

My Paati is a lady with strong sense of style and class (No wonder she is a beautician!). A class that you will feel with the way she speaks, carries herself and her immaculate dress sense. She moves with great poise and dignity. Her generosity of spirit and her unselfish capacity to care has touched many people. In more ways than ever, she is a source of inspiration to me and to everyone around her. She always tells me "Sriramaaa, saadhikanum! Namma unnum yenna pannalaam-nu paakanum. Seiyara kaariyatha, innum eppdi nanna seiyalaam paakanum!. Nambaloda kadamai thavaraama seiyanum". Words that'll always hold true.

People dream. They aspire to do lots of things. Many aspire, but only few steadfastly work towards it and realise the dream. My Paati is one of the few. I believe she has achieved her dreams. Her life is punctuated with many challenges which she has overcome with grit, hardwork, determination and sense of faith. To me, my Paati is a real achiever and a true all rounder.

Today is Mothers day. My Paati turned 66 last Friday. Whatever I've written is a humble attempt to say thank you to my Paati. Paati, I love you.

My Paati. My inspiration.

13 comments:

  1. Hey, wonderful picture of your Balupatti...
    tears did roll and it is a wonderful when she reads it towards her 50th wedding anniversary...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nice write up!
    It reminds me of my late grandmother! We used to have petty fights whenever she used watch old serials. Good fun and miss them the most now!!

    And yes they are the ones who teach us to reach to GOD. !!

    Happy Grandmom's day

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Seiyara kaariyatha, innum eppdi nanna seiyalaam paakanum!. Nambaloda kadamai thavaraama seiyanum" - these words still echooo in my ears vividly.. from not just my grandmother but my father too.. u know these things are expected to be commonsense and we realise that common sense are actually not that common.. or more so.. repetition helps to engrave ideals into us and that way it will help to become a character and hence a habit..
    you always take me back to my roots with your writing kanna.. i luw reading your work.. paalaadai and uuttifying. teaching you to pray.. my god.. i can picture it.. :)
    you have described woman of those times well:).. they all have high faith and very hard working. the force comes from the head.. do you ever notice that they never get sick.. well for a very long time in their life.. its all in the strong head.. because they train their mind for health so that they can take care of the family and do the house work. we forget to realise... that a true full time job is a mothers. we work 40hours.. and she works 24 7... this is a great tribute kanna..

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Seiyara kaariyatha, innum eppdi nanna seiyalaam paakanum!. Nambaloda kadamai thavaraama seiyanum" - these words still echooo in my ears vividly.. from not just my grandmother but my father too.. u know these things are expected to be commonsense and we realise that common sense are actually not that common.. or more so.. repetition helps to engrave ideals into us and that way it will help to become a character and hence a habit..
    you always take me back to my roots with your writing kanna.. i luw reading your work.. paalaadai and uuttifying. teaching you to pray.. my god.. i can picture it.. :)
    you have described woman of those times well:).. they all have high faith and very hard working. the force comes from the head.. do you ever notice that they never get sick.. well for a very long time in their life.. its all in the strong head.. because they train their mind for health so that they can take care of the family and do the house work. we forget to realise... that a true full time job is a mothers. we work 40hours.. and she works 24 7... this is a great tribute kanna..

    ReplyDelete
  5. I envy you :) My paternal granny is just the opposite of yours.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Man I couldnt have ever put that into better words. Our paati will always be a source of inspiration, now and for the rest of our lives. i really hope she reads this man. A special woman who has led an extremely wonderful life...I have never met anyone so pure and kind. Its interesting to think where we would be and what kind of people we would be without our paati, thats how much of a positive influence she has had on us. Well written bro, hoping you are in good health.

    ReplyDelete
  7. That was straight from your heart and i know it is true as she is a also a wonderful mum .we are lucky to call her mum and without her honest opinion and her values and how she carved her life within the boundaries of her society we wouldn't have come this far in our lives.well done and keep it up

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sriram...What a brilliant tribute!! Poured straight from your heart. Great stuff dude.

    I feel great to have met your Paati and yes, Paati sure is a great inspiration. Vey vibrant and active. Very kind and helpful. Amazing personality!!

    Though its late, I would like to wish Paati a Belated Happy Birthday!! Do convey my wishes the next time you speak to her.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hey, I just opened your blog for the first time and this is what I read. This is such a sweet post. I'm jealous that you get to spend so much time with your paati! I agree, that a bond with a paati really is like no other.

    I wrote a post about my paati recently too, http://foreigndesi.wordpress.com/2009/04/12/my-cool-grandma/. Definitely not a sentimental tribute like yours, but my paati is quite modern like yours.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Great work mate, keep up the good work.

    Alvin

    ReplyDelete
  11. WOW!! I'm amazed by how you have described your paati.. So beautiful! I love this!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks for reading it. glad you liked it :)

      Delete